Making Decisions..We Need to Do Better!

So, as you all know, I'm a preschool teacher. Two days ago, a little girl in my class was smelling a little rough. So I asked her over and over again if she needed to go to the bathroom and she kept telling me no. Finally, I got her to go to the bathroom and long story short, she had pooped on herself. But, the poop was dry, which meant she'd been walking around in that all day long and that it possibly had happened HOURS before I got to her. She told me that it happened in the morning, she had told her mother, and that her mother had told her, "I don't care" stopped talking to her and then they proceeded to walk to school. Without attacking the mother, I told her what I was told by the child and asked if she knew anything about it. Of course, she told me "No..I don't know where she got that from, I didn't even know it had happened..maybe she was afraid she'd get in trouble." This mother is 21 years old with 3-year-old twins and a 6 month old baby...works a very low-paying job and has very little time to spend with her children. I think it's safe to say that she has not made the kind of decisions that would allow her to handle her responsibilities...
Next scenario. Sometimes when parents are young and unestablished in life, they are unable to provide for their children. The kids get bounced around from family member to family member and even school to school because the parent is doing their best to give the child the best opportunities possible. My thing is, if you decide to have a child, that is YOUR decision. Please don't force everyone around you to take on that responsibility. That is between you and the child's other parent. If the two of you cannot work it out so that the TWO of you are taking care of your children, perhaps you should reconsider having unprotected sex or deciding to keep your child. I'm not proposing abortion, but there are plenty of willing parents out there who want to adopt because they can't have children or just because that's a decision that they feel their family is ready for. It is not fair for your family and friends to have to bear the responsibilities associated with raising and loving a human being (that is not the choice that they would have made on their own)! A lot of young parents push their children onto their grandparents. Well, if you think about it...your parents are old enough that you have your own children. Don't you think they have moved on from the "parenting" phase and want to relax? But, now they can't because they have another mouth to feed. That's terrible.

Kids aren't just cute...they're in need of constant attention, love, financial attention, boundaries, a routine, a safe environment, a healthy diet, access to healthcare, room & time to play and just the freedom to be a child! Sometimes, people say, "I just want something that will love me!" Ok, so if that's the only reason you're having a child, what happens when the kid hits puberty and decides, "I can't stand you, leave me alone..." ?

I realize that I have been raised in a situation that is more favorable than that of some others, and I'm sure this skews my opinion but I deal with children everyday. I see their situations and many of these 3-year-olds and some of the people in my own circle have dealt with things at such a young age, that I in my 24 years of living have not had to deal with ever. They're forced to experience things that they shouldn't have to and they know things that a young child shouldn't.

Make better decisions about the partners you choose. Make better decisions about what you do with these partners and realize that once you have children, you have to grow up, be selfless and make decisions that will benefit your children. It doesn't matter if you're young. It doesn't matter if you've done all the partying and recklessness that your friends have done. At that point, get over it, because your child needs you. Don't make decisions that work for the short-term. Think about your children's and your family's future.

Peace.